Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
