Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
