she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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