I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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