dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
