Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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