but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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