And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
this is an emotional support booty call
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
