Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
