if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
