I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
