Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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