I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
