My brain says no but my pants say off.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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