I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
