I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
