I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
