You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize