He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
