I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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