Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My feet surprised me
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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