Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
