he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
