We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
