I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
