Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
