if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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