That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
