yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
