and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Randomize
