i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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