her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
