they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
