So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
