It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
