I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
