Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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