508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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