The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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