I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
