just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
