Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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