My first STD was from a foam party
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
