I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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