Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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