her vagine was all disorganized.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
