Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
do herpes really smell.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
