wakey wakey hands off snakey
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
