Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
