One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
