Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
