he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
