I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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