are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
