i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
