Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
